Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Culpeper Star-Exponent, Patrick James McGuire/Charles Glenn Andrews IV, Guy L. Abbott

Because not only was President John Tyler of Virginia the only president to be kicked out of his party but later defected to the Confederacy and was elected to its Congress, here are today's nominees for Worst Virginians in the World!

The bronze goes to whoever did Saturday's front page for the Star-Exponent of Culpeper. When headline writers try to be cute with sports headlines, sometimes it's just better to stay vanilla.

A teaser headline atop the front page said in reference to a high school football game: "Blackhawks Down Cougars." "Black Hawk Down" is of course the popular phrase for the tragic military operation in Somalia in 1993 that killed 19 Americans and wounded dozens others.

Maybe it was just an innocent mistake, and the editor on duty didn't see how a poor choice of verbs turned so distasteful. Or that person thought it was cute or amusing or fun to borrow phraseology – and a book and movie title – invoking American military dead for a football story when "Blackhawks Top Cougars" would've sufficed.

Well, it could've been worse. At least the headline wasn't "Blackhawks Scalp Cougars."

The silver goes to Patrick James McGuire and Charles Glenn Andrews IV of Virginia Beach, our dumb criminals nominees.

The Daily Press of Newport News reported Monday that Virginia Beach Police arrested and charged the two with burglary and grand larceny after looting a neighbor's damaged home in Sandbridge during Hurricane Irene on Saturday. Police say the duo swiped alcohol and stereo equipment.

Their plans for a clean getaway, however, when they were spotted on a live WVEC-TV report from the neighborhood, showing one of them trying to escape with a bicycle. Officers in the area responding to the storm nabbed them on foot after a pursuit. The stolen property was identified and returned.

Note to looters: Pick a neighborhood not being broadcast live on local television.

But our winner is another crooked cop, this time being Middlesex County Sheriff Guy L. Abbott. The Daily Press of Newport News (it must never be dull in that newsroom) reported Friday that Abbot was indicted on 25 criminal felony counts, including bribery, embezzlement, and misappropriation – the trifecta! – after a two-year investigation.

Over the course of eight years, he procured an inflatable boat, two other boats and a vehicle, misused county credit cards, and got money from an asset forfeiture fund, according to indictments. Abbott also took $1,200 total in bribes on three occasions.

County sheriffs are elected in Virginia, and the Daily Press says Abbott has filed for re-election for this November, although he faces three challengers. Maybe Abbott's slogan can be "Experience Counts!"

That's Middlesex County Sheriff Guy L. Abbott – talk about "taking your work home with you" – today's Worst Virginian in the World!

Correction: Video showed one of the looters leaving the scene with a bicycle, not riding a bicycle.