First up is Charlotte M. Pierson, general registrar of Richmond County. It's not quite Florida in 2000, but her goof has imperiled a candidate's re-election bid.
Sixteen-year Richmond County Commonwealth's Attorney Wayne L. Emery will not appear on the ballot this election because of a filing technicality with his petitions: He used single-sided paper. The State Board of Elections changed its policy in January requiring petitions and the circulars affidavit to appear on double-sided paper to prevent fraud.
When Emery submitted the stapled paperwork to Pierson in May, she was unaware of the rule change, the Richmond Times-Dispatch reported Sunday. "Three times after May 19, we went to the registrar saying, 'Are we OK?'" Emery said. "And three times, we were told that yeah, we were OK."
After the Aug. 23 deadline passed, a Northern Neck News reporter contacted the State Board of Elections on a tip and relayed the message to Pierson about the rule change and Emery's paperwork. Sure enough, the board told her the paperwork was invalid. A local election board and Circuit Court ruled against Emery's assertion that he appear on the ballot anyway, so he's started a write-in campaign.
Just poke the chad in the butterfly ballot for a write-in candidate.
Our runner-up is retired Lt. Gen. Jerry Boykin, a self-proclaimed "conservative Christian" who continues to do a disservice to both.
His latest episode of self-aggrandizement was a speech at a Family Foundation forum Thursday in Danville on politics and religion. "If we believe in Jesus Christ, we're right," he was quoted in the Danville Register & Bee on Friday. "And the truth will prevail." So much for that idea of "Judge not, that ye be not judged."
Boykin also referenced the controversy of Pittsylvania County lawmakers holding sectarian prayers before meetings. "'This is just the tip of the iceberg,' said Boykin. No one will do anything to offend a Muslim, he said, but they don’t care to offend Christians," the Register & Bee reported.
But Boykin himself has offended Islam. He was forced to backtrack from comments he made in January 2003 in which he said about an enemy Somali strongman, "I knew that my God was bigger than his. I knew that my God was a real God and his was an idol." A few months later, he gave a speech in uniform that he also had to clarify later in which he said there are Muslim extremists "because we're a Christian nation, because our foundation and our roots are Judeo-Christians. ... And the enemy is a guy named Satan." Boykin co-authored a book titled "Sharia: The Threat to America," claiming how most American mosques have been radicalized, most Muslim social organizations are "jihadist" front groups, and that Muslims who practice Sharia law want to impose it on America. When he's not insulting the Muslim religion, Boykin is comparing health care reform to Nazism.
Boykin is currently the Wheat Visiting Professor in Leadership at Hampden-Sydney College. Any students required to take his classes should demand a tuition refund.
But our winner is Wayne LaPierre, CEO of the Fairfax-based National Rifle Association who never met a conspiracy theory he didn't like.
Wayne rattled off all the NRA conspiracy theories in just one speech at a CPAC rally in Florida on Friday, as reported by Crooks and Liars and Media Matters.
He can see President Obama's cabal of conspirators, ranging from his Supreme Court appointments to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, and beyond. "Sotomayor, Kagan, Fast & Furious, the United Nations, executive orders. Those are the facts we face today. ... President Obama and his cohorts, yeah, they're going to deny their conspiracy to fool gun owners. Some in the liberal media, they are already probably blogging about it. But we don't care because the lying, conniving Obama crowd can kiss our Constitution!"
Never mind that the Obama administration has pursued no substantive gun control legislation, Wayne can see a "massive Obama conspiracy" at work. Obama is only pretending to care about gun rights, Wayne proclaimed.
"But it's a big fat stinking lie, just like all the other lies that have come out of this corrupt administration. It's all part – it's all part of a massive Obama conspiracy to deceive voters and hide his true intentions to destroy the Second Amendment in our country. ... And Obama himself is no fool. So when he got elected, they concocted a scheme to stay away from the gun issue, lull gun owners to sleep, and play us for fools in 2012. Well, gun owners are not fools, and we are not fooled. We see the president's strategy crystal clear: get re-elected, and with no other re-elections to worry about, get busy dismantling and destroying our firearms freedom. Erase the Second Amendment from the Bill of Rights and exorcise it from the U.S. Constitution. That's their agenda."Obama's "conspiracy" to do away with gun rights sure has been stagnant. The Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence gave Obama an "F" for his lack of action on gun control in his first year as president. Last August, the group criticized Obama for being too slow in nominating a permanent director for the ATF. (He finally did so in November). The Brady Campaign also slammed Obama in January for failing to mention gun violence in his State of the Union address in the wake of the Tuscon shooting.
A blogger at ThinkProgress.org said it best about Wayne's claims: "It's unclear, however, why anyone should believe the NRA's paranoia. By LaPierre's logic, Obama also has a secret plan to launch a manned mission to Uranus, convert the nation to Pastafarianism, and wipe out the pink flamingo. After all, Obama has done exactly as much to accomplish these three goals as he has done to undermine gun owners' rights."
That's Wayne "Obama's army of unicorn-riding leprechauns will take your guns!" LaPierre, today's Worst Virginian in the World!