Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Bryce Reeves, Ernest Grubbs, Eric Cantor

Because Virginia Military Institute Keydets' football mascot is Moe the Kangaroo (for some reason), here are today's nominees for Worst Virginians in the World!

Our first nominee is Bryce Reeves, Republican candidate for the 17th Senate District against Edd Houck in one of the key elections to determine control of the chamber.

Reeves, a small-business owner, is running on common GOP themes of low taxes and deregulation, touting his experience as a businessman who has balanced budgets. The Washington Post profiled the race on Sunday and reported, "Reeves rails against government red tape that stifles small businesses, particularly startups. Asked to name three burdensome state regulations that should be rescinded, however, he drew a blank, saying that's what the expertise of legislative committees is for." Swing and a miss. Reeves then said, "You have to look at all of them. I haven't been approached about what committees they'd like me to serve on. I'm kind of at a loss for specific legislation off the top of my head right now."

Reeves has said that his first political memory was Schoolhouse Rock's "I'm Just a Bill." Maybe that's the extent of his political know-how.

Our runner-up is Ernest Grubbs, a now-former Bedford County sheriff's deputy and high school resource officer. The Roanoke Times reported Saturday that Grubbs was charged with 12 counts of taking indecent liberties with a child by a person in a custodial relationship he had a relationship with a 16-year-old female student.

Among items police seized included a 2XL shirt and notes that the girl's mother found in her room. The student told authorities that she had had sexual intercourse with Grubbs at several locations. Additionally, police found a box in Grubbs' office with drug paraphernalia.

Had he given her hush money, Grubbs would've attained the slimeball trifecta.

But our winner is our good friend U.S. Majority Leader Eric Cantor coward. He was scheduled to deliver a speech at the University of Pennsylvania's business school Friday about the economy and wealth but backed off when he learned it would be open to the public and protestors would be allowed on campus, although not inside for the event.

Cantor's office said it had to cancel because UPenn "was unable to ensure that the attendance policy previously agreed to could be met." UPenn responded by saying that events such as this are always open to the public and that's how Cantor's speech was billed.

The written speech itself was less than inspiring. Cantor, R-7th, talks about how his immigrant grandmother worked hard for a better life for her family, and he touted a "Steve Jobs Plan": "Those who are successful not only create good jobs and services that make our lives better, they also give back and help everyone move just a little bit further up the ladder and everybody wins." (The Huffington Post's Jason Linkins pointed out that an Ivy League school was a strange stage for a speech on "a fair shot at the American dream," since few of those students, professors, and alumni face the same challenges as most Americans.)

If only entrepreneurship and philanthropy alone could re-balance incomes and help the needy. Former Rep. Alan Grayson correctly observed this month that 24 million people in America "can't find a full-time job," 50 million "can't see a doctor when they're sick," 47 million people need government help to feed themselves, and 15 million families owe more than the value of their home. The Fed reported last week that outstanding student loans will top $1 trillion this year; a finance grad student observed, "It's going to create a generation of wage slavery." Since the early 1990s, incomes for the top 1% have soared, while middle class incomes have collapsed. Working hard, playing by the rules, and budgeting personal finances is not enough anymore to guarantee success or even an equal shot at success.

To quote Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., "It's all right to tell a man to lift himself by his own bootstraps, but it is a cruel jest to say to a bootless man that he ought to lift himself by his own bootstraps."

That's Eric "Let them eat bootstraps" Cantor, C (for chicken)-7th, today's Worst Virginian in the World!