Because Virginia seceded before North Carolina or Tennessee – briefly creating some kind of Confederate satellite state – here are today’s nominees for Worst Virginians in the World!
The bronze goes to Sandra Smith-Jones. She is a member of the Virginia Beach School Board – and works full time for a private education company in Saudi Arabia.
When she accepted the overseas position, Smith-Jones said last month that she would resign from the School Board, and a farewell reception was held. Yet, she decided on Aug. 30 to keep both jobs because she “didn’t trust the School Board majority to appoint the right person to replace her,” according to a board member quoted in The Virginian-Pilot of Hampton Roads.
Smith-Jones said her job will allow her to return to Virginia Beach for a few weeks every couple of months, the School Board chairman told the Pilot on Sept. 1. The board does not have the authority to reject her decision, and some questioned her residency status and fidelity to the board’s Code of Ethics. The pledge dictates that members “Make every effort to attend all Board meetings.” But Smith-Jones never signed the document (because of her protest over the exclusion of an anti-discrimination clause), which is framed and hanging in the board’s chambers.
Now, the Pilot reported Wednesday that she will keep her home in Virginia, and division lawyers found that Smith-Jones meets residency criteria. Board members are now forced to delegate her committee responsibilities, including monthly student discipline hearings.
The first mandate on the Code of Ethics is “Remember that my first and greatest concern must be the educational welfare of all students attending Virginia Beach public schools.” Since Smith-Jones – who appropriately lists Mindless Behavior as a favorite band on her Facebook page – now lives in the Middle East and never signed the pledge, she can sleep soundly knowing she is totally absolved from caring about the welfare of her students.
The silver goes to accused copper thief and church vandal Donald Regan Crumpacker of Roanoke.
City police have charged him with stealing copper downspouts since June at at least three churches to sell as scrap, The Roanoke Times reported Wednesday, with at least two other churches also being vandalized.
Last week the Times ran a story on how the downspout thefts, as well as heating pump thefts, have hurt the churches. Four heat pumps valued at $22,000 were stolen from one church, and another had to pay $650 to replace its downspouts with aluminum ones. All this even though scrap copper is only worth about $5.50 a pound.
Incidentally, there have been no reported copper thefts in Roanoke since Crumpacker’s arrest on Saturday.
“The type of person who would steal from a church is just petty,” one pastor told the Times last week. “What I said when the spouts were stolen, I can’t repeat in the newspaper.” Amen.
But today’s winner is Principal Karen Spillman of Colonial Forge High School in Stafford. She is the source of national attention and ire for her maltreatment of Banana Man. That’s right.
Last Friday at a football game, sophomore Bryan Thompson donned a banana costume and sprinted around the empty field at halftime. The 14-year-old surrendered without incident but was handcuffed and placed in a police car. (He won’t be charged.)
The Colonial Forge administration was not amused.
The Colonial Forge administration was not amused.
The Free Lance-Star of Fredericksburg reported Thursday that Spillman suspended Bryan for 10 days and has recommended to the county superintendent that he be suspended for the rest of the school year. In a letter to Bryan’s mother, Spillman said he is being suspended for “disobedience,” “disrespectful behavior,” “disruption,” and “refusal to follow directions.” Bryan’s mother is appealing.
Aside from the fact that his stunt hurt no one and disrupted very little, Bryan’s mother said he has high-functioning autism, which can make him act impulsively without understanding the consequences of his actions. The Free Lance-Star reported, “Bryan’s mother said school officials told her Bryan was laughing after the incident. She said she could see that happening, but that Bryan probably didn’t understand the severity of the situation. ‘That‘s part of his autism,’ she said.”
This story has received nationwide attention, and people have rallied to support “Banana Man.” There are supportive Facebook groups, Colonial Forge students have worn “Free Banana Man” shirts, and a protest was planned at the school (which never occurred). Reportedly, the shirts have been confiscated because they’ve been waved disruptively as rally flags, and bananas with “Free Banana Man” written on them have also been confiscated. The ACLU of Virginia has warned the school that they cannot ban or confiscate “Free Banana Man” shirts simply because administrators don’t like them.
In fact, this isn’t the first time Bryan has been suspended. He was suspended this year for the heinous crime of having his cell phone alarm go off in class, and was suspended last year for creating a website for students to post funny photos of themselves to comment on that was perceived by administrators as a forum for bullying.
To paraphrase the immortal Mark Twain: “First God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school administrators.”
That’s Karen “Spare the suspension, spoil the autistic child!” Spillman, principal of Colonial Forge High School in Stafford, today’s Worst Virginian in the World!
